Silence

The End of the Line
The End of the Line: Disused railway line Goolwa Station.

 

Silence

It’s been just another day.
Not a bird nor sun in the sky.
A lonely day.
Just me lying on the wet grass.
A silent day.

Yet silence is the sound of my heartbeat,
Rattling its drum in my chest.
Silence is the sound of my blood,
Wheezing though my ears.

It’s been just another night.
full of internal interrogations,
Of memories and question marks.
A Lonely night.
Just me 3 am and an empty highway underpass.
A silent night.

To find silence is the distracting buzz,
From derelict steet lamps.
Silence is the echo of my passing from the light,
Into the dark.

So quiet.
Through these empty days and nights.
So lonely.
Through your lips that tease,
With no chance of words.
So silent.
Knowing silence is the suffocating tendril,
that twines through our throats.
Silence is the serial killer of personal choice.

It’s been just another day.
No life to be seen or heard.
A lonely day.
Just me in my p.j.’s with self defeating pillow talk.
So silent.
I know.
Silence is a lover of depression,
As silence is the sound of autumn leaves being crushed underfoot.

 

© 2008 Tikarma Vodicka

 

Poetical Impressions, Silence, 16th August 2010

You may remember this poem. 2 years has flown by quite fast. At least for me.
I would love to post something new. All the distractions of the past week though have left my mind blank and my muse fleeing the chaos.
So I decided to go with an old poem and then next week I’ll post something new. I decided too that for a least a little while I’d like to post an old poem and then a new one.
It’s interesting for me to look back. I hope it will be for you too, especially seeing as these waffles didn’t exist back then. It will be interesting to see how much I rememeber *lol*.

Silence.

A concept that haunted the back of my mind for some time. I don’t remember a whole lot from this poem. I do though remember the broken record in my head. The very last part of the chorus of Lou Reeds’ Perfect Day kept going over and over in my head. “You just keep me hanging on, You just keep me hanging on.”
My muse can whine. 😀
I put up with this I reckon for half the day before giving in “What!” and this was the poem that resulted.

 I think some the tune of Perfect Day slighty haunts this piece but in the end it was not the theme of Lou’s song that was the point but the atmosphere, the strain that lay inbetween his words, in the strings, his vocals and piano.

Silence. It’s haunting, it follows us and taunts us and for some becomes their worst enemy. I was suffering pretty badly from post grief and depression at the time I wrote this poem and I’d slipped into a very bad habit. Silence.
No radio just the quiet of my surroundings. It can get very quiet out here where I live.
Now I’m someone who has a permanent sound track in my head. So to find myself in place of silence, so still in surrounds and mind. That was scary for me.

Instead of freaking out, thankfully I embraced it. In doing so I discovered the heart of silence that grips us in the quiet night.

It’s our own internal fray, our own inability to express ourselves and our feelings for that time. It is our fear that leaves us speechless and withdrawing.
There’s no such thing as true silence unless you’re in vacuum and if you do ever find yourself in a true vacuum you won’t live enough to appreciate it.  *sheepish grin*
The sound of our own heart beats, blood rushing in our ears, the whisper of breeze, the call of a distant bird, traffic over the hill. The ticking of the clock the sound of your own footsteps.
They can be sounds in the wrong momet that drive us to distraction and despair highlighting how alone we are, but they needn’t be, they can also be sounds that ground us to existance and re-enforce our reality and choices amongst it all.
This is the heart of what I was trying to express at the time in the poem. 

 
My choice was to grab the broken record in my head, break the habit and turn the radio back on…but at least the quiet lasted long enough to write this piece. 

Wishing you all a great start to your week and a lovely week to come.

 If you’re interested in the song Perfect Day you can watch/listen to it below.

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13 thoughts on “Silence

  1. There is nothing wrong with posting some old writings from time to time. Sometimes I feel in a funk, and I remember something I written from way back when…I will post it because that is how I am feeling.

    Two years is a long time ago for me. So much has happened since then. There were so many things I thought I would never get over. I have and as with life sometimes new things happen, and sometimes old things become a reminder.

    This is a good song. I’ve heard of the artist before but I don’t believe I ever really listened to anything performed by him. Thanks for posting this.

    1. Hi Diana,

      Thanks for stopping by. I like to let people know if I’m posting something old I suppose because we get used to and in some cases expect new work a lot of the time.
      I don’t read back to relate to something I’ve written I have to admit. My poetry though often reminds me of how far i’ve come and some I just like reading. 🙂

      Yes in some ways 2 years is a long time. sometimes it feels like another life and somedays just like it was yesterday. Like yourself there are things I thought I wouldn’t be able to move on from and to find I have, that’s where looking back comes in I suppose. It helps you put your life in perspective. 🙂

      I’m really glad you enjoyed Perfect Day. I discovered Lou Reed in my mid teens. It’s one of my favourite songs.

      Take care.
      Tikarma
      xxx

  2. I love the poem… I do disagree with the interpretation of silence for me though, I find it a time for growth and inner healing, but we all feel and go about silence differently as we breathe the air around us

    much love and affection
    nike

    1. Hi Nike,

      Thankyou for reading. I’m very glad you enjoyed the poem.

      I disagree with my interpretation too on a good day. 🙂 Silence is many things for me. Sometimes a place of potential negativity and sometimes heavenly. It all depends on whether I’m in a down or not, when I wrote this I was in a down so it served to speak of that place not my general attitude.

      I’m very glad that silence is place that is so positive for you. 🙂

      All the best to you for a peaceful and happy week.
      Take care.
      T.
      xxx

      1. I loved the poem… just thinking of me, which is good poetry, actually the best when the reader takes in on… musing silence…it is so good to see your space and about you. I have much respect for you dear one
        xoxoxo

  3. Fascinating how this emerged from a down period – I find it difficult to write when I am in there.

    Silence itself is fascinating. When I am in a down period it becomes threatening – somehow allowing negative thoughts to come – mostly stuff I thought I had dealt with. Sometimes, in those periods, I sleep with the light on as if light dissipates the silence, DUH!

    In up periods I welcome the silence – it allows me to explore what it is I need to know

    Although, as you rightly say, Silence is never truely silent.

    When I sit by the sea it is the sound of the ocean which forms the mantra and allows me to drift into “Silence”

    Take care
    Arohanui
    (((BSH)))
    David

    1. Hi David,

      Thankyou for sharing.
      It may shock you that some my most hopeful poems have come from very down periods. I depends on my down but I find I do a fair amount of writing.
      When I’m happy…I’m too busy…being happy *cheeky grin* I guess I find it easier to write rather than talk in a down. So I write. 🙂

      I do a similar thing as yourself with the night light. I figure it is the psychological pre-cursor for the inner light to come on. We are acknowledging the darkness emerging within us and the need to dispel it. Sometimes we need a little help. 🙂 Hence the light.

      I welcome silence most times especially painting. it’s only in a down that I have to be careful not to sit in silence for too long.
      Like yourself it would seem all the negatvitiy comes to surface far too easily and without warning.

      The seaside is a beautiful place to experiance “silence” 🙂 The sounds of nature I find are always the most cleansing and sootihng.

      Thanks again.
      Take care
      Arohanui
      (((BSH)))
      Tikarma
      xoxoxoo

  4. Sometimes I invite silence so that I can listen to the sounds one usually does not hear, or to think uninterrupted.
    When I’m creative it does not matter which music is on, or who talks, – I haven’t heard a thing. That also happens when I get engrossed in a book ….
    Different kinds of silence. In a way it’s like falling into a pocket, – but one with a hole in it, so one can drop out when making the effort.
    Your poem certainly takes one into such a special space of time!

    1. Hello! What a wonderful surprise to see you here! 🙂 It’s good to know that the subscribe button is working. 🙂

      Thankyou for stopping by and reading I’m really glad that the poem took you to such a special place. 🙂

      I know the creative silence well and love it. Like yourself what is happening around me evaporates and it’s just me painting nothing else. It’s heavenly! 🙂

      Yes there are many different kinds of silence, each offereing something different to consider or appreciate.

      Thanks again for stopping by.
      All the best to you for your week to come.
      Take care.
      (((BIG BIG HUGS)))
      Tikarma
      xoxoxo

  5. Silence is a double-edged sword. The good side slices cleanly, the dull side is the one you have written about in the poem. It presses slowly, and wounds broadly, with bruises.

    I like the follow-through message you put with this poem. It shows your appreciation for the surgical healing of the sharp side of this blade. (I’m writing something else that has me in a metaphor loving mood–please forgive the exaggerated image *grin*)

    I love lying on cool, damp grass and listening to my own little world. When I was young, I had such moments, alone in a field, pressing everything around me to memory. And, it stayed in my memory. I can still close my eyes and take myself back to those days, and the silence then was just inside me. Mother Nature is always singing so loudly.

    XXXOOO
    Much love to you, my friend,
    Shirley

    1. Hi Shirley,

      Thankyou for your insights. Your metaphors are welcome anytime. 🙂 I hope we will see what you’ve been up to soon?

      You are quite right in your interpretation of my poem and write. I’m glad you liked this weeks blog.

      Your comments reminded me of the saying “sweet the sting.” The bee sting or the scorpions sting, shamans medicine.

      Through the pain we grow to a better place, a greater understanding that we could not have found without the pain.

      I try to appreciate all experiances good and bad and try to garner what hope and postive action I can from them. Even though sometimes I get lost in the quagmire of my own emotions I find my way eventually. 🙂

      I couldn’t agree with you more. The song of Mother Nature is a most beautiful song and if we have the ears to listen, yes she sings loud, strong and clear. 🙂

      Some of my happiest moments have been out in the hills or along the coastline just being still and listening. It’s the purest “silence” I know next the space in my mind when I paint, where there nothing, no thought, or feeling, or sound just the pure space of creation.

      I think we are born with the silence in us. It’s how we grow and how it grows within us that determines whether it will be something to embrace or something to fear.

      I’m very glad this bought back good memories from your youth.
      🙂

      Take care my friend.
      With much love to you and the family
      (((BIG BIG HUGS)))
      Tikarma
      xoxoxoxo

  6. Hi Tikarma,

    What a wonderful piece! I think you have captured the desolation and emptiness of silence when one is in that state of mind. It can act as a prelude to a rebooting of the mind or, if left too long, can become a crippling illness within itself. Often what can heal us can also destroy us.

    I love how you have taken silence internally and externally. The way the whole world changes around us when we seek silence and how that whole world helps to change us. It is like sailing the Pacific Ocean in a ship in a bottle. Grief and depression changes our whole world, and we change the world around us (or at least how we pecieve and interact within it). You captured that world just beautifuly!

    And yes, I can see how Perfect Day fits in there so well. I must admit, I am a big Lou Reed fan, and that is the one song I wish I wrote. I especially love his verse –

    “Just a perfect day
    you made me forget myself
    I thought I was
    someone else, someone good”

    And, I think that is the effect your poetry has on me. Your stories take me to another place that belongs to someone else. Often the result is I see myself better.

    Thank you for capturing another part of life that is within us all.

    With love always,

    Jamie

    XXX

    1. Hi Jamie,

      Thankyou for your wonderful comments.

      I’m not inspired by songs in general, many help carry an atmosphere as I write but not many have made me put pen to paper. Perfect Day like yourself is just one of my favourite Lou Reed songs. It’s like a good wine, it only gets better and better with time. 🙂

      Yes silence is certainly a double edge sword. As I wrote, it is a lover of depression and just like a lover, some days in that depression it’s going to be a comfort and somedays you’re going to wish you never invited it in.

      I like your imagery of being in a bottle sailing on the ocean. Very apt and it perfectly describes that being “lost out to sea” feeling that can often come with grief and depression.

      I’m very touched you feel my words help you to see yourself better sometimes and I’m very glad you enjoyed this weeks blog and were able to garner so much from it.

      Thanks again.
      Yours in love always.
      Tikarma
      xoxoxoxo

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