Being Swept Away By The C.

Hi Everyone,

Here is this weeks blog. It’s back to 2007 and bought to you by chapter C of the 1977 edition of Chambers Compact Dictonary.In other words there are quite a few big words in this one. I hope though that they won’t get in the way of your being able to enjoy or relate to the poem.

I hope this week is a good one for you all.
Tikarma
xxxx

 
Being Swept Away By The C.

These complications are being carried for too long.
The cerebral conventicles of carking cares.
They are caustic to the cortex,
Corrosive to the cerebrum.

In carefree wonders of a crimson dawn.
Its calming colour washes the calamity away.
Come the cavernous chamber of stars
It will re-commence,
But we won’t consider that right now.
No.
For now we drop that cargo.

We turn instead to chips and cartridges.
Central processing conventions.
We entertain the clowns of community,
The carousing comrades of clan.
We are charlatans here amongst the cheerfulness.
Clear the circuit,
Before I cry.
Ohhh and console me!

Catch me.
Cradle me.
Coil me in the conundrums of your curves?

Construct for me a special coomb of comfort,
Where we can counteract these curses.

Conflicting with the crusaders,
Who call to their command.
The cudgel that crushes freedom.
Who campaign with the butcher’s chopper mouth.
To cleave and
Capsize the conciliatory convoy.

Trying to make cake from crumbs.
Catastrophe!
When it’s a case of convictions.

Convene with me?
To our secret cottage.
Call me to your cromlech of cairns.

Hold me while we sing our coronach,
For false champions of charity and noble causes.
For those who ordain themselves the right to wear the chasuble.

The charcoal night descends again.
The cranium becomes concave from cogitation.
Again coherence collapses,
With the collusion of a creaky collective unconscious.
Confessions are made.
Confinement consolidated through the crack of contentment.

In consideration of circumstances.
I am crazy.
Having been cleared out of my chest.

Facing my Carpathian Mountains.
Through cold and the chill of clenched teeth.
That we may clatter and chatter, chit and chat.
Enough!
I must concede.
I still need the cloister.

Take me clandestine,
Underneath it all?
Through closets and cupboards,
Into the crucible of your conception?

Compute for me your caress.
Your cuddles.
So I may be comforted from of all these conflagrations,
That those of compos mentis condemn.

 

© 2007 Tikarma Vodicka

Poetical Impressions, Looking back, Being Swept Away By The C. Sunday, January 23rd 2011

Being Swept Away By The C. is one of my favourite poems. It’s contruction, the way the words roll off the tounge. It’s a poem to be felt more than anaylised. There is at least for myself a clarity despite some of the language.
As some of you know I don’t really like poetry where you have to sit with dictionary in hand to understand it, or as it has been re-named by Jamie “academic wank”.
I do though recognise that within language is an ability to rise above the wank with the fancy words to a place where they don’t really matter allowing you to expand your emotional range of expression.
I am infinitely fascinated with emotionns that seem to defy description, the “I’m speechless” moments, I want to find a language for them. I am also a great lover of words and the English language, so it is inevitable that these kinds of poems will eventually come to the surface.I completely blame my curiosity. 🙂

Normally I would post definitions or do a stanza by standa expostition. To do this though I feel would destroy the poem’s magic. Maybe in the future that time will come but for now I don’t want to pick at it too closely. Maybe I still enjoy the magic too much to let that go just yet. 🙂

The poem was written after I had a taken quite a break from being online around the end of 2007. I had been offline and disconnected in more ways than one.I had moved house, granted it was only across town but it was still new and strange and I kept walking into walls where there should’ve been doors.
*goofy look*
I was exhausted, enraged with life, and in a strange home I didn’t want to be in at that moment in time, and trying to go back on-line calm, in control and “happy”. *shakes head*

I think we’ve all felt at some point for many different reasons those moments in life where we’ve dived back into the fray after a great emtional strain only to find ourselves looking in on the very normal interactions of others and it not making sense. Feeling alien in situations that used to feel normal, trying to make sense of life.
You can do it, within you is the ability to get on with living you’re just not sure how and the world feels so disconnected and strange,…or is it you???…You know and you don’t know.
It’s a very emotionally and mentally straining time. It would be easier if you were standing at a life crossroads but you’re not, it’s just life and how it builds up how people come and go and how you’re left feeling like an outsider to the very things you used to take for granted.

These emotions are the heart of this poem. Feeling like an outsider. So for me, having language that is no longer used in everyday life is just as apt, because you know i.e. you can grasp the context, but at the same time you don’t actually know, i.e. the words actual definition.
Sometimes our emotions become so strained. The mind is so full of a chatter that really isn’t language that the ordinary speech is…ordinary. It doesn’t convey exactly the emotinal torrent your riding.
I could’ve written

“I am still grievieing
Still trying to reconcile myself
To living in world without you
It hurts my brain,
Torments my mind.
It’s depression just makes me
want to hide under the covers and die.”

That would be the first stanza without all the fancy words. The plain speech just lacks a certain vital expression. I didn’t want to write about these feelings. The last thing I wanted to do was come back on-line and say “hey everybody” and then bum them out with my depression and grief. I didn’t know how to express myself honestly or even if I should at all. Underneath all this life stuff was the bubbling desire though to get all this rubbish out. For me ultimately that is what poety is, a vehicle to express the self , good or bad in the hope of elevating yourself and hopefully others along with you. 

So that’s all very well but how on earth do I arrive at the point where I am constructing a poem from a dictionary?

Well this is where the muse comes into the equation, being struck by lightning as it were. I was sitting in the patio with Jamie late one night conversing. I had no intentions of writing poetry, we weren’t far off going to bed. somewhere in the conversation I did my typical “ignore” face as I was hit by the lines

“Catch me.
Cradle me.
Coil me in the conundrums of your curves?”

Which then de-railed our conversation completely as I tried desperatly to find stanzas to go with it and why was it even in my head!?
I was captivated.
This then lead to a brain flash of looking in the dictionary.
My muse she’s like that. She’ll point at something but I have to figure it out, she’ll give me a line but I have to find the rest of the poem. If I’m very lucky she’ll hand me one complete but rarely is she in that good of a mood. 🙂

These are those magic moments. If you let them slip away you won’t get them back. Like the postman the muse doesn’t knock twice. I can’t really explain how it happens. It’s just there if I choose to take it and the words are just there. It’s a bit like channelling but at the same time it is all very much me. It’s a little crazy…poor Jamie…*lol*

The poem came together embrassiningly easy. With Jamie in one ear, “How about this word” “Ohhh this one is good!” I just started writing away. I just knew where to look and what words were right and the lines just fell into place. It really in a lot of ways wrote itself.
It said though without my meaning to, exactly what I was wanting to say at that time.
It expresses for me those confused and complicated feelings that lie deep within the mind and heart that arise when you feel like an outsider in a way that I couldn’t have done without the dictionary.
It may be a small boring to look at bright red book kids were given in the seventies for school.The pages are yellowing from age, but I owe this little dictionary a great debt. It not only helped me express myself better, but it also has left me with a poem I love today. As much as it captures a time of not so cheery feelings it also makes me smile with all the words and how they feel to speak them. It makes me excited all over again for language and poetry and the expression of self through words.
I hope you all have a great week to come. May it contain too a moment or moments of inspiration that leave you sprawling for pen or paintbrush or musical instrument that fill you with the joy of creation and expression. 🙂

Tikarma
xxxxx

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16 thoughts on “Being Swept Away By The C.

  1. 77 Was the year I was born…I have a dictionary from 88. Haha…I’m being silly.

    That is pretty clever how you disguised your feelings in poems that way. I should use different words in my writing. I don’t know why I don’t considering I’m always checking out my thesaurus every day.

    I have been obsessed with the internet for years. Funny thing is the only thing I check out are the usual spots: AOL; YouTube; FB; MS; here. It’s never something different with me. I think it’s a borderline OCD thing with me. I’ve tried to get off for a while, but found myself wanting to check out the internet no matter what.

    Since I have started school, I have been on the computer less these days. I go on here, play a game for an hour, then I turn off the computer for a few hours. It’s funny when people try to IM me and wonder why I don’t reply. LOL…

    I don’t really know much about loss. I’ve lost grandparents growing up, but I never really had a closeness with them. I do have this habit of where I mourn for others and they’re not even gone yet. I don’t know why but I’ve always been this way since I was little. I was a morbid little girl. LOL.

    I may be a bit tired right now and not know what I am saying. LOL.

    I really do love the poem. I understood all the words but two that were located in one stanza. In any case, I’ve been where you are. Even though we have our different reasons, I can still relate to you.

    I hope your week has started off great, and you continue to have a good week.

    *HUGS*

    1. Hi Diana,

      Thanks very much for reading and sharing your thoughts. I hope you are feeling a little better today?

      I wasn’t born until the end of 78 so this dictionary just predates me. *lol* I only have one recent dictionary in the house 2005 I think. I prefer the older dictionarys though. 🙂

      I like to disguise my life everynow and then. Not that I have anything against being open obviously *lol* but sometimes it’s nice not to have to be so direct about the issues in your life. 🙂 It can be fun too. 🙂

      I go to a lot places on-line. Social sites like FB and MS are more the exceptions. I used to belong to a lot of forums but I find the internet is just getting more and more nasty as if it is becomming a venting room for peoples anger and I don’t much fancy getting ripped to pieces by a stranger because they don’t like what I said. So these days I tend to stay in my little corner and just look and read at the things that intrest me.

      I wouldn’t say I know a whole lot about loss either, only what I’ve experianced personally.
      One of the nice things about life is that you don’t need to necessarily directly experiance the same things. Different experiances bring about similar reactions and similar feelings which allow us to be able to relate to others despite not having direct experiance.

      I am really glad that you were able to enjoy the poem and those two words didn’t get in the way of your being able to relate to it. 🙂

      I hope this week has started well too and it proves to be a good week for you.

      ((HUGS))
      Tikarma
      xxx

  2. Hi Tikarma,

    Yes, I can understand why this is one of your favourite poems as it is one of mine too. I just love the use of language in this. It is so clever and works so well. I always say that poetry is not knowing how to use the English language, but knowing how to abuse it. It this is done so well. One doesn’t need a dictionary to understand this poem as it rolls off the human psyche as easily as it rolls off the tongue. This is just a joy to read on so many levels.

    The second reason I love it is because of the special memory of you writing it. It was indeed during a very tough time for us both, and this moment seemed to be one of the very few happy times we had then. Lying on the bed together with that little red dictionary in hand, myself expelling words and yourself expelling these wonderful lines. Poetry is such s singularly solitary art form, so it was nice to be a part of it, even in such a small way. It will always remain a very precious moment for me.

    I just have to say your impression for this wonderful piece is a pure joy to read. Like the poem, it flows so well, but doesn’t hold back on the honesty. The humour you use does not detract from the deeper meaning of what this poem is to you. And, even though I know this poem better than anyone other than yourself, I still gained new insight into it, making it even more special to me.

    I look apon this poem as an oasis within a sea of despair. That is, not the words of the poem, but the poems place within your life. It was that spark that help keep you going, and that outlet that you needed that didn’t pull you down further, but put a smile on your face (and mine too).

    Thank you for sharing this very special poem Tikarma, and thank you for giving me the oppertunity to love it even more.

    With all my love always & forever,

    Jamie

    ♥♥♥

    1. Hi Jamie,

      Thanks very for sharing your thoughts and memories of this poem.
      You are right. The creative paths we’ve chosen are rather solitary in nature so it was extra special to have you there contributing as I was writing. I think it’s been the only time. 🙂

      I wouldn’t say I wholly agree with your stement on poetry. But certainly most poets are using the English language in a way it wasn’t intended so on that front yes I do agree. Maybe it’s the word abuse. I prefer to think of it as using language to it’s full potential. 🙂

      Carving good memories from painful times I think is important, and sometimes you don’t even have to try, they just make themselves. 🙂 I like that this poem is special for us both and it is for both us a poem that is uplifitng despite what lies underneath. 🙂

      I am very glad that you still enjoy this poem so much and that it does hold a good memory for you too. 🙂 I’m really pleased as well that the impression gave you even more to enhance your knowing of the poem and didn’t detract away from your pleasure of it.

      Thankyou for sharing the process and joy of this poem with me.

      Yours always in love
      ❤ ❤ ❤
      Tikarma
      xoxoxox

  3. Tikarma,

    I know from reading your impression that this poem was born out of pain but its immediate affect for me was different.
    I was carried away on the rhythm and on the joy of words that I felt was inherent in it. By the end of the second verse I was smiling – a smile which continued all the way through 🙂
    I knew most of the words but it didn’t matter that I did not know all of them – it detracted not at all from the poem. Nor did I feel any need to stop to look them up – their rhythm and their placing carried me along that to stop would have been a shame.
    I may go back and look in a dictionary or I may not! 🙂

    As for “Coil me in the conundrums of your curves” – I really, really wish I had written that – it resonates, rolls off the tongue and that line alone carried me away to a different place all together!!
    I might well pinch it – It feels like a line that could take me off into a poem all of my own – Should that happen I will let you know before I do anything else with it 🙂

    I feel uplifted by me experience of this poem. Thank you

    You take good care of yourself.

    The weather here feels as if we are moving towards Spring – I may well be encouraged to take my muse out with our camera.

    I hope your week and your garden continue to inspire you

    Arohanui
    (((BSH)))
    David
    xoxox

    1. Hi David,

      Thankyou for taking the time out to read and share your thoughts. 🙂

      *lol* I very much love that line too. You have my permission to pinch it. 🙂 I would be very interested to see where you go with it if you do choose to use it. 🙂

      I’m very glad too that none of the pain surrounding me at the time left an impression as you were reading. That was ultimately the point. To give the reader something other not just my pain.

      It is very much a joyful poem for me and so I’m glad that for yourself too it is one that leaves you too busy enjoying it to worry about what lies beneath. I’m very glad too that the few words whose definintions escaped you didn’t detract at all from your pleasure of reading. 🙂

      I’m humbled that the poem left you feeling up-lifted. 🙂

      I do hope that the first whisps of Spring bloom into some lovely sunny weather for you. 🙂 I’ve no doubt your muse and you will capture some beautiful photographs! 🙂

      I’ll be hovering over my tomatoes as they get ever bigger, waiting for them to ripen. 🙂

      Take good care my friend. 🙂

      Arohanui
      (((BSH)))
      Tikarma
      xoxox

    1. Ahhh! Wonderful Gary!! *big smile*,

      It’s lovely to “see” you too. 🙂 Thanks for taking the time out to read. You leave me with a smile that you enjoyed this poem.
      Thankyou. 🙂

      Take good care.
      Tikarma
      xxx

  4. This is calisthenics with words! So smooth and apparently effortless, creating ripples and swirls which sweep one away with it. It’s a great and sometimes even breath taking performance!!

    I think when life deals you a real deep blow, one seems to be taken out of the groove of “normality” or maybe better said “the every day routines”. We get so busy trying to keep going, taking things in our stride and push on, that when we finally think we are ready for life again, it greets us like a perfect stranger, making little sense, making us feel as if we came from another planet and don’t belong. The good thing about it is, that it wears off and things normalize again and we get our balance back. Just all takes time 🙂

    Wishing you a good week!
    with Love
    mum & Karley

    1. Hi Mum,

      Thanks very much for reading and sharing your thoughts.
      Thankyou too for you most lovely comments. I’m glad you enjoyed the word play with this poem. 🙂

      Thankgoodness it passes. 🙂 I’ve come a long way since writing this poem. 🙂 I do agree with your thoughts on life greeting us like a stranger.
      Learning patience in these times and being properly reaaaured that it will pass is the hardest part. The mind just can’t imagine it being any different. I’m just greatful I have learned a lot to stand me in good steed for the future and I have some nice memories too. 🙂

      Wishing you all the best for a great end to to your week.
      BIG PATS for Karley
      with much love
      Tikarma
      xoxoxo

  5. Finally made it! 🙂

    I like this. It works beautifully! I, like David, know it was born from pain. But, the words evolve past that. They obviously took control and had a play with you. *grin* I love when that happens to me!

    It really was fun to read, and I had to smile while thinking of you choosing the words, probably with a dictionary propped on your knees, and Jamie trying to get a nod in on the word choices. Love that image!

    I also like the “catch me” line.

    And this from your comment reply to Diana:

    “One of the nice things about life is that you don’t need to necessarily directly experiance the same things. Different experiances bring about similar reactions and similar feelings which allow us to be able to relate to others despite not having direct experiance.” Yes!

    I hope your weekend is wonderful, and please enjoy that garden for me a little. We are getting so much rain–cold rain–that I feel like a drowned and frozen whatsit!

    Love you!
    xoxo
    Shirley

    1. Hi Shirley,

      It’s so lovely to see you. 🙂 I hope you have been keeping warm and out of the weather as much as possible!

      Thankyou very much for taking the time out to read and share your thoughts. I’m very glad you enjoyed the poem and found it fun to read. 🙂

      I strive to turn pain into something beautiful. All those negative emotions into something positive. So I’m very glad that this poem hides well it’s origons and just reads as an entertaining poem. 🙂

      I think the “catch me” line is just one of the inspired moments you couldn’t manufacture if you tried. It seems to be the line that everyone myself included responds to most. 🙂

      You’re not far off the truth in your image of how the poem came together. *lol*

      re; my comment to Diana.
      It is something I believe very strongly. Empathy allows us to relate, and empathy is born for many pains not just one persons journey. 🙂 It’s nice to know you feel the same. 🙂

      I hope you are having as good a weekend as is possible with all the terrible weather you are having. I am happy to report one ripe tomato and my lettuce is doing very well this year. I’m shocked. It’s the first year I’ve been able to grow lettuce properly. 🙂
      I will try to post photos sometime this week. 🙂
      We have recieved the last of the weather system from the cyclone that occurred up North at the beginning of this week. So it’s rather blowy but the sun is shining. 🙂

      Sending you many warm wishes for a bright week to come
      and (((BIG WARM HUGS)))
      with much love
      Tikarma
      xoxoxoxo

    1. Hi Ina,

      It’s lovely to “meet” you. 🙂 Thankyou for visiting my blog and for your most kind comments! *blushing*
      Alas judging by the dictionaries used in todays schools it would make for a most confusing English class. Apprently the need for a broad vocabulary is not as desired today as it was in the 70’s. *cheeky grin*

      I’m very glad you enjoyed your read here. 🙂

      Take care
      Tikarma
      xxx

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